What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
14.06.2025 01:59
I think the readers, may guess!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Put me off passion for life!!
What are the best items to buy from a furniture shop?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Is it true that most women like alpha males?
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Why do many women in Turkey prefer to date blacks as a lover?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I was 9 years of age.
Teen girl from 6,200 years ago with cone-shaped skull unearthed in Iran - Phys.org
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She wouldn,t have been !
Why did i forgive my father ?
Why do you think Democrat favorability ratings are so low?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Why would an older small breed dog become obsessive about hygiene?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
What did Chandrashekhar Azad say about Hinduism during a podcast?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
She found it foreign!.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im still living with it.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
He knew the spot.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
This is soul school!.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
So, i spoilt her more .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
One cannot live in the past .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
We all went to grammer schools
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But ive been too sick for many years..
I have no regrets .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
My life is so biszare .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She was in good health!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
What did i know ?
I waited trembling.
I was seconnd youngest,
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was very sick at this time too.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Who then, do I blame.?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He resisted the act ,that day.
I said to her
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I will be 64.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
All the time i was locked up.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She married twice! .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I write beautiful poetry .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
When she asked me how she looked .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
We were not on the streets..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
And i lived it daily.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I was scared of men, in general
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My family never makes their pension either.
She loved him until the end.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Comes on , in middle age.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
It was going to be , some day.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Would this be the day?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
As i do to all so called friends.?
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But it wasn’t much.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But, we were locked up after school.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I don,t even have a pension.
So whats the point in blame.
Ive learnt so much.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Was to survive, this bastard.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My mum and dad in the seventies!